Putin Misquoted

Russian President Vladimir Putin said Tuesday that North Koreans would rather “eat grass” than suspend a nuclear weapons program that has prompted the Trump administration to call for the toughest possible sanctions against Kim Jong-un’s isolated nation.

But it turns out that Putin was misquoted in what appears to be a “lost in translation” moment when it became apparent that the official interpreter had mistaken “Greggs” for “grass” and proceeded to assume the context of the statement.

What Putin actually said was; ‘North Koreans would rather eat Greggs and suspend [their] nuclear weapons program.’

Not surprising, seeing as Kim Jong-un owns the Pyongyang Greggs franchise and gets to eat as many pastry slices as he can stomach.  And, in order to persuade his North Korean citizens to buy Greggs savoury pastries, he takes every opportunity to order everything from the menu;  hence people with pens and jotters everywhere!

‘Steak bake’, Kim begins, ‘sausage bean and cheese slice, chicken katsu, cheese and onion, corned beef slice…’

But what about those rockets?

‘Merely a pastime’, replies Jong-un. ‘They’re actually giant party poppers disguised as nuclear weapons. They’re intended to be a happy surprise, but we haven’t perfected the deployment of the pink and yellow paper streamers on impact. That’s what’s worrying the United Nations.’

So it’s all cool. Let’s party.

Leave a Reply